i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
How's work?
Spinning.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i've created a new STD.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
