Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
third nipple confirmed
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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