Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
