My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
