I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
