All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
