Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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