I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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