OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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