I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wish I only lived at night.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
