I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
