Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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