What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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