my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
