I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
