I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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