you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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