i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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