i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
