I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I need water and some morals
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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