Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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