listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize