Reggie can tackle my bush.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
