i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
