So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
