if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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