so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
