I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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