My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Randomize