I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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