i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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