TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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