I got chris browned last night
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
