I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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