Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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