I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
