if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
