there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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