you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
