Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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