what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
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he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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