Need sex. Gaining weight.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
