and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
