you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
