I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm sobbing to NWA
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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