hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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