He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
