if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
