Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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