sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
