Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it's like iHOP with fire
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
