he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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