I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
