I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm too high and old for this...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
