Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
