It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
