You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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