I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
