Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
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Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i need some magic done to my vagina
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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