Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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