you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's a Shit stain on my heart
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
