just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize