i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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